To be able to reveal our mind in confidence means we have to trust the person, but trust is something that takes time to develop. Trust is not something that can be legislated or imposed on us by someone’s position. The best way to learn to trust is to observe him or her. See how the person speaks and behaves. If we want to cultivate trust, we have to both observe people’s behavior and hear from them. Is their character consistent with their speech? If they speak well but cannot control their senses, how can you trust them? If we speak in confidence and notice that they speak about others in our company, we can know that they will also discuss our confidences when we are not present. Behavior must be consistent with speech. This is the criterion we use to develop trust in the association of devotees.
(Bhaktyaloka QA, Boston, 1997)